Getting on Track...

158 days...

One hundred and fifty eight days...

For such a large number, it sounds more like the number 3 to me.
And I'm starting to realize that if I want to achieve the goals I'm setting for myself...
I really need to get going on this self discipline training stuff.

It's not that I haven't been, but I know I could be doing more, and the last thought I want to experience at the end of this marathon is that I could have done better.

One area I should start with is by keeping up with this blog... it's almost been a month
[where are you guys on keeping on my case about this?]

So anyways to the training...

I ran my first race since the B.A.A. Half Marathon a couple weeks ago, with some of my Boston Bruins Marathon Team girls, and it felt great to get back out in a race. It may have only been a 5k, and may have been in extremely cold, rainy weather... but all the same it felt great. My time wasn't exactly where I was hoping it would be, but it was still an improvement since the last race.

Baby steps right?
Especially considering how I was feeling after the Half...

I've been trying to be a little more proactive in how and when I push myself when doing certain workouts. You know, attempting the whole 'take care of myself now, so there isn't an issue later'...
I don't need to do all kinds of training and end up hurting myself to a point I can't compete.

So with November Project... which is also something I need to be even more self disciplined on.
Not that I've missed many, but I'd rather not miss more than 1 a month, and I know some months that won't be possible... life gets in the way sometimes, but I'm going to try to incorporate it even more into my schedule than it already is.

Mondays are the one day that don't require a lot of modifications by me to avoid injury, but I realize that I need to do more sprints than just those during this Monday session. Any time they have us do any form of sprinting, my body basically says, "Stephanie, I hate you" the next day.

This still humors me. I was always a sprinter in high school, and am known in field hockey as a fast person, so I'm not sure why my body aches so much after these workouts...
stretching maybe?
not chasing a field hockey ball?
actually focusing on sprinting form
[that I haven't focused on since Coach Carbone would be yelling at me to pick my pockets down the straight aways]?

Who knows... what I do know is that I need to do sprints more often and incorporate them into my routine on days I don't have a long distance run planned. Or maybe do some quick sprint workout in the morning and a long distance run at night... ambitious I know... but I don't have a track down the street from me...

Wednesdays... oh man. This is always a mental battle. Not only has the temperature dropped significantly, but I'm not getting any 'better' or 'faster' as quickly as I was hoping I would.

Some days I feel really strong and good going into the workout, and it always seems those are the days 10 minutes in that I feel the weakest and slowest...

Then the days like today, where I was dreading the workout way before I even got to the stadium, and once I got started, was actually going at a decent pace... for me anyways.

It's just I keep seeing some of my NP friends crushing it, and hearing how quickly they were able to do "x" sections, and I sit there, struggling to do my share.

I don't know... obviously I'll keep working on it, but I'm just waiting to FEEL faster and stronger at it. There's shorter people than me racing by me, so I really have no excuses.

But I also know this is a particular exercise that if I don't do it correctly, or push it too much, my knees are going to be hating on me later... [sighhhh...]

It's a double edged sword sometimes.

Fridays... they have gotten better... and have actually become one of my favorite workouts with November Project.

No one likes hills... they aren't fun, and no matter what kind of athletic shape you are in...
they kick your ass... and I like that.

If anything, I feel this day of training is one of the most beneficial for me with the Boston Marathon. Heartbreak Hill is 5 miles of hell... and a typical hill workout with November Project is between 3-6 miles... [granted Heartbreak Hill is after running 17 mile prior too], but still.

Somehow still smiling on Heartbreak Hill last year

With November Project I'm doing an hour of hill repeats...

And... they've improved drastically since the first time I did them. I'm now consistently running up the first part; and on at least the first two making it up even higher; and now on all of them, I'm running the top part.

I haven't experienced an "oh that workout sucked for me" in a few Fridays now, so it's a nice way to "earn my weekend"

I'm also starting to get myself back on track with the nutrition and eating healthier. I wouldn't say I've been eating terrible, but my body could use some extra vegetables.

I'm really working on the whole mini meals throughout the day, as I was not blessed with a natural fast working metabolism, so I need to start fooling my body... haha...

I'm still not sure what's going to happen with the Boston Bruins Foundation Marathon Team...

We're all really rallying to work with the new lead person of the team to try and allow us to all be together. It's amazing how last years experience brought such a diverse, random group of people [who for the most part had never spent more than those 5 hours before the Marathon together] together the way we all are now. I hear from at least one person from the team, at least once a week.

pre-marathon

I think we'll all share a bond that will never really be explainable to someone who wasn't with us.

The hours of chatting and working out our pre-race nerves up in Hopkinton....

.....to hours later wondering if everyone we were just hanging out with was okay...

....to when we finally were finally reunited at the Bruins game to work the 50/50 isn't something I can seem to find the words to explain.

I still don't know what I would have done if anything had happened to any of them.

I know regardless of if we are able to all be on the Bruins Marathon team again or not...
we will all finish that race together...
figuratively speaking of course,
but none the less together.

158 days...

One hundred and fifty eight days...

Time to get on track full throttle.
Because we all know it'll be here in the blink of an eye.

The Only Thing To Do Is Go Up...

And sometimes frustration just takes over in every aspect of your life.

The last few weeks have been non stop busy for me, which isn't a bad thing, but it definitely hasn't helped with some of the lingering frustrations I have.

I'm in the middle of my season right now with my Bentley ladies, and I think sometimes the hardest thing about being a coach is watching a team with the most potential in the world, not necessarily compete at the level you know damn well that they could.

My college coach was somehow able to get us all on the same page of giving it our all in every practice and every game to really believe in each other, and really work for every.single.success. that we would have... and we did.

And we had successes and we also had failures, but either way, our hearts were all in.

We were either rewarded with a sweet victory, or broken by a failed attempt.

But our hearts were there.
150%.

And sometimes I just wonder if my girls hearts are all in, and every girl on the field is all in and believing in the potential they have. I wish I could reach in and make them feel how sweet those hard earned victories can really feel.

The motto on the back of the team shirts is "As bad as you want to breathe," which is from one of the best youtube motivational videos I have ever seen.

[It might be long, but you can't tell me after you watch it that you aren't motivated]

And I'm just waiting and trying every way I can to have that motto played out for me on the practice field, and translate onto the game field.

Aside from coaching, I've had November Project, a 5k, and now also a Half Marathon...

Those Monday mornings have been going well with the running and circuit work, and on the shorter runs, my pace has been getting better and more consistent... although I'll still leave extra early to prepare for turtle pace.

Wednesdays... oooof... I don't think the Stadium will ever really get easier, but I am able to do more sections now, and push myself a little harder on them. I'm still no where near Allie or Matt's Stadium level, but due to them being pretty solid at it, it gives me something to work towards.

Fridays... I'm still battling the hills, but I have improved a little bit! Last time I went I was able to run up more of the hill than previous times and I plan to work on coming down the hill a little slower, to enable pushing myself on the way up a little harder... 

I have to. 

I participated in the Boston Electric Run down at Gillette Stadium October 4th... and boy was that fun.

I already want to run one again. 

I ran with my friend Matt and I still regret not having started a stopwatch to figure out our time, because even with running up and down the ramps of the Stadium, I feel like I had a decent run. 

The course covered in neon and loud music was right up my alley... 

Think they'd do that for the entire 26.2 of the Boston Marathon?? :)

Then... 

it happened... 

The B.A.A. Half Marathon... 

My thing with training at this point in my life is figuring out what works and what doesn't. 

And I found out today, not having gotten the mileage I had prior to previous races hurt me today.

I was hoping the cross training of November Project would be my success story, but I've found I can't leave out the mileage and full on running training from my pre-race strategy. 

When I first started running today, my legs felt extremely tight, and not just from the non-stretching, but they felt tight from toe to hip... 

I pushed through and managed to have a solid first part of the course. 

I ran my first 5 miles in 45 minutes, which is good for me and I was happy with that... 

then again, with this course, this was mostly on a downhill slope.. 

Then as the hills started to incline, and incline some more... 

A familiar [non]friend returned. 

The knee pain. 

I almost started to cry the minute I took a stride and felt it again. 

I knew it would be there the rest of the race... post race... and will most likely stick around for a while. 

If I could put it into words to explain my frustrations with this I would... 

okay... whatever... I'll try anyways.

As most of you know I've had knee issues for some time now... 

Put myself through 4 years of three sports in high school [some seasons even doubled up].... 

4 years of Division I field hockey... 

2 knee surgeries... 

Countless hours of physical therapy and ice baths... 

Unstoppable tears and hours of phone calls to my best friend to vent my frustrations... 

And now for some reason I continue to push my knees probably harder than I'm suppose to. 

I go through ups and downs all year. 

I can go from having a PR in a 5k... 

to icing my knees for a week straight and having trouble even just walking. 

There's so many goals I have set for myself. 

SO many. 

And SO many of those being of an athletic nature that these setbacks are really starting to get to me. 

Hence that even typing this right now is making my eyes water. 

It seems each workout as of lately that I have a little setback and don't reach a small goal I have set for myself... 

"Stephanie don't let this person pass you" and then I get passed.... 

"Stephanie get to this section in this amount of time" and then not making the time cut.... 

Or like today... 

"Stephanie at least get a PR, but if you can, break 2 hours".... 

and then ending with no PR and no breaking of 2 hours. 

I don't believe these are unrealistic goals I have for myself... 

I really don't. 

And I'm tired of people still congratulating these efforts 

[it's a double edged sword, it's nice but I'm frustrated],

Or if I say that I don't know if I trained enough, and hearing back how much of an athlete they think I am... It's not enough. 

As I said I'm figuring out what works and what doesn't. 

What I'm doing now isn't 'not' working, but it's not totally working either. 

I've never had an easy route to reach things that I want to reach, so I don't know why I would expect anything differently now. 

I think I have to start making more time to work in some physical therapy exercises; rest my body; and get the mileage in. 

When will I get these things in? Good question... 

I already feel that my schedule is full from sun up to sun down.... but I'll make it work. 

Back to the full leg icing...

These may all be personal goals of mine, but I want them. 

I want to feel the satisfaction of working hard and earning that "feel good feeling". 

I want to stop having the feeling of not being good enough.

People might think I'm crazy. People might think I'm being too hard on myself... 

But I don't care. 

I want to succeed at my goals. 

I want to get it to that point of wanting it as bad as I want to breathe. 

I've never been a half-ass person, and I don't want to start now. 

Today, in my mind, the half marathon was a setback. 

Whether in training or just in the aching in my body... 

it was a setback... 

a. 

complete. 

mental.

set. 

back. 

But as with any setback... the only thing to do is go up...

I Choose Option # 3

So I can finally say I’m past that point of feeling like I got hit by a bus after a November Project (NP) workout… that in itself I feel is a triumph… now it’s beating those weekly times I keep getting. I've noticed my per mile pace has started to improve and I'm feeling better when I am out on the road running. But everyday I’m reminded that I’m not quite there yet… 

I have a l.o.n.g. road ahead of me in this training. 

And sometimes when I think about it, it can be concerning, but then I take a deep breath and remember... 

The feeling at the finish line is a feeling comparable to no other feeling.

I haven’t missed a NP workout since I first started attending. 

Have I had my mornings where I thought my bed was a better place? Sure. 

But I still got out of bed, either put on some reflectors and carried my keys ready to be used as a weapon on those Monday mornings [hey, I live in Southie, which hasn't had the best crime history as of recently], or hopped in my car and made my way to Harvard Stadium at 5am [with my fashion statement of glow sticks], or got my ass over to Summit Avenue to conquer some hills.

Speaking of Summit Avenue… that’s where I’ll be headed first thing tomorrow morning. 

Something about that hill haunts me, but in a good way [if that exists]. 

My body hates the uphill and any regular NP go’er probably recognizes how I’m pretty fast going down the hill [obvious statement I know] but then when it comes to going uphill, my little waddle and short steps quickly turns into a speed walk [as much as one can speed walk up a hill]. 

My ongoing joke with myself and to some of my friends is that I go at turtle speed, and I have to keep reminding me that it’s at least a speed. 

Last week I was able to run the entire little “cross country” course set up on the grassy hill at the top of Summit Avenue, and then down the hill and back up to the second street. But then I would walk… I’d get the stride back to a run towards the top and try to continue that pattern. 

I’m determined to get to a point where I can:

1) do an entire loop without walking; and then 

2) do it multiple times.

That’s the thing about this group… I’m surrounded by all levels of fitness. 

Where I fit in? I’m not really sure.

But I watch some of the other female runners, and the motivation builds up in me [after of course I get some mental bashing from the devil on my shoulder criticizing me why I’m not there now; I try to say shut up and keep working]. 

We all have those little voices in our heads, and I’m working like hell to shut mine up.  

But half the time I don’t even have to do that, other NP tribe members are right there with a high five and an encouraging word. 

I knew there was more than an ass kicking that kept me coming every time.

I mean look how much fun we're having?

I find lately I’m glued to pinterest.com for different fitness tricks, and I’ve decided to attempt one of those month challenges for the month of October and see how it works out for me [hold me to that please]. 

(I’m looking for one with abs/arms for toning/definition without the bulkiness. I’ll most likely resort to getting back in the Bar Method DVD’s on my off days from NP.) 

But when you try on a bridesmaid dress for a wedding that’s in November, that fit you perfectly last winter, and it’s not quite fitting so perfectly now… clearly something needs to change. 

Achem. Me. I know. I’m working on it.

My seventh half marathon is coming up October 13^th, and I’m determined to break that 2 hour mark… or at least PR. 

My best to date is 2:02 and my most recent one back in May was 2:09. [I ran track in high school so I know shaving time off of these things is not an easy feat... but I am trying]

The course is the B.A.A. and per usual includes one helluva hill… the last 6 miles is all up in elevation. 

This is the third B.A.A. Half Marathon I have done, and the second time doing this exact route [they use to do it the opposite way, but clearly they wanted to challenge us more with ending on an uphill and not a downhill… although I do love finishing the final 200 yards on a track… because it forces me to spring it :) ] 

so I know what I’m in for… I’m only hoping I've got my body on the right track of preparation.

I already started the PR breaking yesterday at Harvard Stadium by crushing my previous full tour of 1:02 down to 54 minutes… and I’d love to see that number only go down. 

I know it’s possible because I pretty much finish behind everyone, so I just need to start passing people and/or keeping up with them. 

I need to train my mind to forget that my body aches and just push through it… because we all know those aches aren't anything serious… it’s just my body being a wimp, and I’m not a fan of that scenario…

I’m off this weekend to cheer on some friends in their half marathon in Providence and I can only hope my mind gets the racing bug going and helps make the next couple weeks before my own half that much more motivating! 

Good Luck friends and I’ll be cheering you on from the sidelines!

“you've only got three choices in life: 

give up, 

give in, 

or give it all you've got”

And I choose option #3.   

I Don't Feel Like Coming Down...

Finally… I’m finally getting back into stride as I was with my training last February. I may be a little impatient for I know what my body is capable of, and not being right back where I was, is to say the least, frustrating. I wanted to immediately be back at my racing pace, and have an excellent run; every run.  But through my training and past races over the years, I've learned one key element… you will have bad days of running, your pace will be slower, your body won’t be feeling good, and you just have to accept it.  

While I may accept it… I can still be frustrated by it.

I just finished my 11^th time going to November Project this morning, and the “feeling” from it has not faded at all.  

The energy of this group amazes me every time I show up. 

It’s 5:30am or 6:30am and everyone is smiling and ready to kick our own asses. And when we finish the workout, you can’t find anyone without a smile and a high five waiting for you. Your fitness level doesn't matter… you showed up. You got your butt out of bed, and you showed up.

I’m finally starting to recognize some faces and have slowly been trying to get more people involved. Even through my friend Paige, just email introducing me to a friend, Allie, of hers who was interested, I now have another familiar face at every workout. I also have gotten my friend Kathryn on board, and it’s so much fun to bring people from other parts of my world, into that of the November Project. [although Matt will always be my main accountability partner.. sorry Matt you're stuck haha] 

I don’t even question or worry anymore if they’ll like it. Because I already know the answer… they will. 

[even cooler is that Kathryn and Matt are running the same half-marathon coming up, so I can rock some sweet signs to cheer them on J]

November Project this past week had a couple theme days, which only added to the community of it all. You don’t even question dressing the part, you just know that every other person will be in full gear from head to toe to play the role. 

I use to hate when there would be a theme for something, and only a couple people would dress up… not with this group… not with this tribe… 

It’s the opposite, you’re looked at differently if you don’t participate!

We had TennisDeck for our Destination Monday, due to the location being on a tennis court, where we went all out with burpees/pushups/V-Ups/Mountain Climbers…

The Ladies decked out in Tennis Gear [Steph, me, Allie]

Accountability [Matt and myself]

And Wednesday we all paid tribute to another city’s tribe leaders father who passed away suddenly... so we rocked purple and sweet moustaches… or in Matt’s case… a creep’stache J

[Allie, Matt, myself, and Kathryn]

The feeling of getting in some long runs recently has been awesome. I was able to do a slow and steady 8 miler last Sunday morning, and it couldn't have started the day out any better. 

The weather was near perfect and it was just me and the other runners gracing the city at 8am on a Sunday. 

There’s a quiet sense of community in those early morning moments… as if we all share something, even if only that one thing being running early on a Sunday morning, while the rest of the world is recovering from the night before.

So last night… looking at my 100 mile challenge with Matt on the T ride home, and seeing myself a good 12 miles behind him… I decided I needed to go for a really good, longer, run. 

I got home, changed into a comfortable running outfit and set off into the city. 

Once clear of the Massachusetts Avenue scene near the hospitals, I was able to really get in the mindset of this run. 

I decided to go along the same route as my prior 8 miles, but I would just go a mile further.

Let me tell you… running over the Massachusetts Avenue Bridge, with a soft breeze and a city all lit up… It’s almost breathtaking.  

Looking over at Harvard Stadium at my halfway point

As the mileage kept adding up, my pace felt steadier and steadier… at least for the first 7 miles [I did start to feel it a little after that]. 

I wasn’t having to walk as much, and I was lucking out with the shuffle for my music. 

Eminem “I’m not Afraid” came on twice, and something about that song really pushes me to run. 

A couple lyrics in particular always stand out to me:

“When I say I'ma do something I do it… I don't give a d*** what you think… I'm doing this for me”

“Cause I'm raising the bar….. I'd shoot for the moon but I'm too busy gazing at stars…. I feel amazing”

Running has always been “my thing” since I started to really get into it back in late 2008 early 2009, so it’s important to me to never lose that drive with it… which is probably why I sign up for so many 5ks, 10ks, and now half marathons [and one full marathon ;) ]

I feel accomplished in something every time I finish a run, whether in a race format or not. 

It’s one of the few aspects in life that I have complete control over, so I seek that reward, and know I’m the only one that can give that to myself.

So when I arrived home last night, drenched in sweat, body aching a little… 

I felt accomplished. 

I just finished 10 miles. Although I’m not up to the marathon training mileage yet… I’m slowly getting back to that point. The cross training of November Project is starting to show its benefits, and I’m excited to continue down this path.

Because right now, I’m on a natural high… and I don’t feel like coming down. 

Well... Here I Go... [again]

Thinking back to the morning of April 15, 2013... I thought I was within reach of crossing that beloved Boston Marathon Finish Line. I had made it over Heartbreak Hill and was ready for the last leg... I had dreamed about what it would be like to take that corner onto Boylston Street, be surrounded by cheering people who came to watch, and meeting up with my family after, with a Boston Marathon Medal around my neck.

Seeing my Family on Heartbreak Hill

We all know that ending didn't happen... and we all know what did happen.

My ending consisted of meeting my parents on a side street in the Seaport District by my friends hotel with tears/hugs/and thankfulness that we were all unharmed [physically].

When I knew the Finish Line wasn't an option anymore...

Fast forward. 

August 19, 2013... at 7pm... I received my confirmation of entry into the 2014 Boston Marathon.

Not only will the special-ness and nationwide meaning of this marathon motivate me, but I've got more than 10 weeks to train this time around and dammit if I don't take advantage of that. My 'projected' finish time set out by the B.A.A. is not where I wanted to finish, and I'm going to do everything I can to improve that time; so when my name gets published as an "official" finisher I can be happy with the time next to it.

It's taken a lot of self reflection to look at what my weaknesses and my strengths were in running those 24.5 miles to figure out what I need to do differently this training-go-round.

One thing I know I didn't do enough of was... Training.With.Hills... Running around the flatness of Southie did not prepare me for that course... especially Heartbreak Hill... that Heartbreak Hill literally broke my heart. It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't at miles 17-21 of the race, but good god did those 5 miles hurt. [note: your heart gets put back together times 1,000 when you reach the top though].

Recently, I've made a major change to my workout regiment and I don't know the full on effects of my actual running yet, but the mentality of it all has improved ten fold.

I'd heard about "The November Project" over a year ago, and had always been somewhat intrigued, but never had the guts to go by myself, nor could I seem to convince any of my friends to wake up for a 6:30am workout three days a week.

Insert my friend Matt.

My friend Matt had recently gotten into road races and tough mudders and is running his first half marathon at the end of September. Our conversations as of recently have pretty much revolved around running and fitness [we had just signed up for a Neon Color Run in October]. I mentioned to him in passing conversation the concept behind the November Project and he was intrigued. I had thought maybe we would start the following week, but his response was exactly the attitude I've come to find of all November Project Tribe Members... "so we start tomorrow?" he asked... with my response being an intimidated, "tomorrow?!"

and here comes the punch...
"what's our excuse?"

The truth was... I had zero excuse to not start the following day.

So we did. 

We carpooled and made our way to Harvard Stadium for 6:30am. The entire car ride over questioning if we were completely insane. The simple answer being yes; but an awesome yes.

We were immediately forced to interact with those around us.. give some high fives... learn some names... and bear hug those around us. The next thing I knew I was tackling the sections of the Harvard Stadium. By the time I reached Section 19 with all the other "newbies" I knew I would be back every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday until for some reason I couldn't. We were hooked.

Loving November Project

I don't know what it is exactly... or maybe I know exactly what it is.

I'm surrounded by people from all over Boston, coming together at the crack of dawn, to kick our own asses. We cheer each other on... we encourage each other to keep going... we share the common goal of wanting to finish the workouts set out for us.

And I can't quite explain, but for something I'm paying zero dollars for, and have no direct relationship with the two people telling me what to do for a workout...

I've never worked harder.

Monday Destination Deck Workout 

I've also never been as sore after a workout before. If you think you're in shape... come to November Project and tell me if you still think that after your first couple workouts with them.

Mondays we meet in varying locations around the city for a deck of cards/circuit workout, and if you live closer than 6 miles, you're expected to run there. Can't say I ever thought I'd play Sharks and Minnows at this age, with people my age, but I did, and I love it.

Wednesday we meet at Harvard Stadium and climb up and down each section. When you're short like me, climbing the seats part is quite the challenge, but the surrounding people motivate you to just keep going. Even when you don't think you can possibly do another section, someone is reaching out for a high five, or coming in for a sweaty hug. The power of people is amazing.

Fridays we run Summit Avenue in Brookline.. I use to avoid this hill like the plague when I lived near it. I would legit walk an extra half mile around it to avoid it...

Now? Now it's the weekly challenge.

I'm an amazing downhill runner [hmm imagine that] but it's the uphill that gets me. Right now I putter in a slow, tiny step, jog for the first part of the uphill and then I have to walk... my body just isn't there yet...keyword: yet.

Summit Avenue Hills Workout #EarnYourWeekend

[Read more about November Project Here]

I learned through my previous training that I need to listen to my body, and rest it when it needs rest. But to also know the difference between my body needing rest and me just making up excuses.

That's the best part of this whole November Project... Matt's become my accountability. We both know the other is going to show up, and we both aren't going to let the other person down by not being there. It's a motivation I haven't had before.

I've also somehow managed to get into a 100 mile challenge with Matt through Nike+  [what's wrong with us?] so this is added motivation on those days in between to get out and get some straight mileage in... He's currently beating me, but give me time... I'll catch up!

I'm hoping with this mix of cross training to really build my endurance, which is something I have always lacked with long distance running. So it'll be interesting to see how it all plays out.

You're probably going to get sick of reading about my natural highs of November Project stuff... but my response is simply going to be, I don't care. Or... just come out and try it yourself, and I'm almost positive you'll get hooked.

I'm going to do as I did in my last blog, and keep you posted on the ups and downs, pains and strains, emotional and physical highs and lows of my training.

The Boston Marathon is still a long ways away, but in the same mind set... it's around the corner.

I hope you'll keep on me, on keeping up with this blog as you did the last.
My motivation levels are at an all time high so I'd like to ride this train as long as possible. :)

~Stephanie

Upcoming Events:
October 4th- Neon Run 5k
October 13th- B.A.A. Half Marathon
October 26th- Blacklight Run 5k